Did anyone read the news story coming out of Las Vegas last week?
According to the article, dust from the desert is causing a huge problem with the city's slot machines, by causing the gears to erode.
And that drives up the costs of operating the casinos and cause compliants from visitors about the squeaky gears in the one-arm bandits.
"The sky is falling on us," said Las Vegas County Commissioner, Willie Fudge. "People will stop coming here if we don't do something," added mayor Bobby Oaks.
Other local government leaders say the problem is going to get worse. They say Mother Nature is taking a toll on the surrounding mountainside and global warming is causing a rapid breakdown of mineral elements in the Las Vegas soil.
City leaders are calling for immediate action, joined by calls from special interests groups such as the Casino/Hotel Association, the Board of Realtors and local brothel union #ICUDOIT.
These casinos are our "Federal Express plant and our revenue stream," said Fudge. " We cannot lose our cash cow," said Rosie LaRue, operator of the Pussy Cat Ranch.
"If the gears continue to erode, we'll lose all the slot machines and people will go elsewhere to gamble. Retreat is not an option. We have too much invested," said Oaks.
Officials are proposing to completely pave the city limits of Las Vegas, extending 20 miles out into the surrounding desert. "This should help keep the dust down," said one casino operator.
It will be an engineered job", added Fudge. "And then, if earthquakes crack and destroy the paving, we believe FEMA will step in and bail us out."
"It should be a one-time project. We must promise all of our citizens. We will raise taxes only one time.. And, since it is a one-time effort, it is only right we let all illegal aliens working in the hotels and casinos cast their vote for this project" said Commissioner Annie Saddlehorse.
"Hell," said Rosie LaRue, "I think we should let everyone vote, no matter where they live. After all, they spend their cash here. It's their money that puts sheets on my girls' beds, cleans my towels and sends me to Brazil every winter."
A 75% property tax increase is being proposed to defer the cost of 4 million cubic yards of concrete. "Local people should pay their share," said ex-mayor, Rennie Calhoun. "Without these casinos, they would not have a job. Retreat is not an option."
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